Dear Mr. Man with the Yellow Hat,
My family is a huge fan of the Curious George stories. In fact, my daughter just can’t get enough of them. I think that I have personally read the story, George Rides a Bike, at least a thousand times. And there really is no end in sight of my child’s obsession with George.
Which brings me to the reason that I am writing you this letter. After reading all of the George stories many, many times, I have some pressing unresolved questions that I must ask you. If you could just give me a bit of insight on my queries, I would be grateful.
1. I realize that everyone has differing parenting styles, and that you really aren’t technically a parent since George is a monkey, but have you ever considered a caregiver for George while you are away? You seem to leave George alone quite a bit, and, as you well know, George tends to roam away from home every time. Please understand that all of his adventures when he wanders off are just delightful, but I do worry for poor George’s safety. Take the time that he flew that kite and the wind carried him off into the air. I imagine that securing a helicopter to rescue George was quite difficult and costly, not to mention incredibly risky.
2. Do you have any other outfits to wear besides that ghastly yellow one? Please don’t take this the wrong way, dear Mr. Man with the Yellow Hat. The Hat is a fashion icon. But the rest of the getup really needs to go. A nice navy suit or even just some jeans would not take away from the fabulousness of that Yellow Hat.
3. Are you ever going to find someone to be with instead of staying single? I know, I am prodding into your personal life now. But you seem like an interesting, kind person that could use some company and possibly some help with little George. My daughter has asked me before, where is George’s mommy? And I really don’t know what to tell her. Which brings me to question number 4.
4. Please forgive me that I am asking some pervasive questions. But I just have to ask: do you ever wonder if you bring George here from Africa was kidnapping? Or that you broke some sort of law bringing foreign livestock into our country? Don’t get me wrong: I think George is just darling and I would have been tempted to keep him, too. But honestly, Mr. Man with the Yellow Hat, you do realize that you took him from his mommy, right? And then you made him star in a movie? Did you know that child stars usually turn out to be a total mess? But perhaps I am getting too harsh with you. Like I said, we really do like you and your stories.
5. Did it disturb you like it did me that George went to prison for calling the fire department? Did you try to get an attorney and fight it? Also, when George escaped from prison, did you find it even more disturbing that he got the bunch of balloons that carried him away from a man selling the balloons right outside the prison? Someone should really speak to him about that—it is an awful location for balloon selling.
6. Additionally, in your first story with George, you allowed him to smoke a pipe after he came from Africa. I think you should be ashamed for such an irresponsible act. But then again, I don’t want to be too hard on you. I am sure that coming home with a curious monkey is a really confusing time in anyone’s life.
7. And finally, Mr. Man with the Yellow Hat, I have one more question. Can you give me some advice about how to potty train? I am in the middle of potty training right now, and it is really becoming difficult. I know that monkeys are notorious for going all over the place and even throwing their, ahem, stuff at others. What was your secret? It seems George was trained like a champ.
Thank you very much for taking the time to consider my questions. I am eager to hear your answers. It will greatly enhance our story times with your stories.
Respectfully,
The Mountain Mamma
My family is a huge fan of the Curious George stories. In fact, my daughter just can’t get enough of them. I think that I have personally read the story, George Rides a Bike, at least a thousand times. And there really is no end in sight of my child’s obsession with George.
Which brings me to the reason that I am writing you this letter. After reading all of the George stories many, many times, I have some pressing unresolved questions that I must ask you. If you could just give me a bit of insight on my queries, I would be grateful.
1. I realize that everyone has differing parenting styles, and that you really aren’t technically a parent since George is a monkey, but have you ever considered a caregiver for George while you are away? You seem to leave George alone quite a bit, and, as you well know, George tends to roam away from home every time. Please understand that all of his adventures when he wanders off are just delightful, but I do worry for poor George’s safety. Take the time that he flew that kite and the wind carried him off into the air. I imagine that securing a helicopter to rescue George was quite difficult and costly, not to mention incredibly risky.
2. Do you have any other outfits to wear besides that ghastly yellow one? Please don’t take this the wrong way, dear Mr. Man with the Yellow Hat. The Hat is a fashion icon. But the rest of the getup really needs to go. A nice navy suit or even just some jeans would not take away from the fabulousness of that Yellow Hat.
3. Are you ever going to find someone to be with instead of staying single? I know, I am prodding into your personal life now. But you seem like an interesting, kind person that could use some company and possibly some help with little George. My daughter has asked me before, where is George’s mommy? And I really don’t know what to tell her. Which brings me to question number 4.
4. Please forgive me that I am asking some pervasive questions. But I just have to ask: do you ever wonder if you bring George here from Africa was kidnapping? Or that you broke some sort of law bringing foreign livestock into our country? Don’t get me wrong: I think George is just darling and I would have been tempted to keep him, too. But honestly, Mr. Man with the Yellow Hat, you do realize that you took him from his mommy, right? And then you made him star in a movie? Did you know that child stars usually turn out to be a total mess? But perhaps I am getting too harsh with you. Like I said, we really do like you and your stories.
5. Did it disturb you like it did me that George went to prison for calling the fire department? Did you try to get an attorney and fight it? Also, when George escaped from prison, did you find it even more disturbing that he got the bunch of balloons that carried him away from a man selling the balloons right outside the prison? Someone should really speak to him about that—it is an awful location for balloon selling.
6. Additionally, in your first story with George, you allowed him to smoke a pipe after he came from Africa. I think you should be ashamed for such an irresponsible act. But then again, I don’t want to be too hard on you. I am sure that coming home with a curious monkey is a really confusing time in anyone’s life.
7. And finally, Mr. Man with the Yellow Hat, I have one more question. Can you give me some advice about how to potty train? I am in the middle of potty training right now, and it is really becoming difficult. I know that monkeys are notorious for going all over the place and even throwing their, ahem, stuff at others. What was your secret? It seems George was trained like a champ.
Thank you very much for taking the time to consider my questions. I am eager to hear your answers. It will greatly enhance our story times with your stories.
Respectfully,
The Mountain Mamma
Haha! Hilarious!
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